holding the door title

Holding The Door

I say sir, ma’am, thank you, and you’re welcome. I let people out of side streets in traffic. When walking the dogs, I step off the trail to allow others to pass. I hold doors open for those behind me. It’s so ingrained in me from childhood training that those actions are a natural reflex.

But young people aren’t raised this way, right?

We were sitting at the patio dining area in front of a popular neighborhood restaurant. A man pulls up in his car, enters the restaurant, and soon exits with a large to-go bag in his hand. As he is leaving, some people are getting up from an indoor table, so he holds the door.

The first person through the door behind him is staring at his phone. He walks past the door holder, not even a grunt of thanks and certainly not an offer to hold the door for others.

The second and third people are talking, slipping on their jackets as they saunter toward the open door. Despite the long time it takes them to move through the portal, they don’t make eye contact with the door holder who continues to patiently wait. We’re sitting close enough to hear, so we know they never offered their gratitude.

By now, I’ve become enthralled at this little moment of human interaction. The guests leaving their table never offer to relieve the man, never say thanks, and certainly aren’t in a hurry. The fourth, fifth, and sixth people exit without the slightest acknowledgement.

And, yes, the man continues to hold the door with one hand and carry his large bag of food in the other.

The seventh and eighth are in a debate about where to go next. They actually stop just inside the restaurant, mere steps from the exit, and continue their debate. Finally, they slip outside as well and call out to the others, totally ignoring the patient man continuing to hold the door.

At last, no one is left inside. The man lets the door slide closed. He shifts the weight of the bag in his hand, and works his way around the cluster of people debating their next stop. They totally ignore him as he gets in his car and pulls away.

How long had he held the door? A minute? A minute-and-a-half? Two? I wish I had timed it, but I was so flabbergasted at the scene. And, yet, he never griped, never wavered. He just held the door.

I should mention, however, that the door holder was late teens. Maybe 20. The people who walked past him were all in their 50’s and 60’s.

Manners aren’t generational. Manners are taught. Way to go, young man.


Click cover for details

I’ve been fortunate enough to see bobcats in the wild three times, each for fairly short periods. Twice, I was lucky enough to capture a few photos (you can see them here and here). Today’s link, though, is exquisite. Using a trail camera mounted here in our area, someone (not me) was able to capture a good bit of video of bobcats hanging out and playing (yes, there are kittens). Toward the end, there is even an extreme closeup. Enjoy a little of our nature here in the North Carolina mountains.


Gratuitous Dog Picture

Mr. Roscoe P. looking serious for a Monday
Mr. Roscoe P. looking serious for a Monday

Don’t let that serious look fool you. Mr. Roscoe P. believes in being a puppy as much as he can, but some things do require a moment of concentration. For example, exactly how can he get that squirrel who keeps chattering away at him? He still hasn’t solved that puzzle.


Background title image is courtesy Kevin Hendersen

5 Comments

  1. HokiePack on November 1, 2021 at 9:29 am

    Wow thanks for the video! Beautiful animals !

  2. Debbie & Miss Ruby on November 1, 2021 at 10:24 am

    I agree manners are taught. Great video, enjoyed. Hi Roscoe always be a puppy.,

  3. Jean Burkhardt on November 1, 2021 at 11:46 am

    I agree with you on the manners of the wonderful young man! He must have a VERY caring family BUT the people who he held the door for aren’t and WEREN’T Taught good manners at all. It makes me kind of sad that a lot of people just don’t get it. Sometimes when my husband or I hold a door for someone and they sail right through-I say “You’re welcome”! We on the other hand thank people for their kindness!

    Roscoe will always be a puppy and for that I am so happy!!!!

  4. Juno's mom on November 1, 2021 at 12:33 pm

    I immediately thought of the James Taylor song. ‘You have to be carefully taught’.
    Love that Roscoe.!

  5. chris on November 1, 2021 at 12:56 pm

    I see this too. We were raised in the generation that you had manners and common sense yet most of my peers must have forgotten it along the way. I have little kids hold open the door for me and teenagers jump in front of me to get it (mind you I am not a old lady just 50). I always thank them and tell their parents that their children are wonderful and polite. I was often complimented on my daughter as she was younger (3 or 4 years old) because I was told by many cashiers that she was more polite than most adults that came in line to check out.

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