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Musing: Spare Change: A Royal Family Tell-All
Prince Barry, the third cousin twice removed from the heir apparent to the British throne, released his long-awaited Royal Family tell-all, Spare Change.
In the unflinching memoir, Prince Barry reveals the challenges of being raised as the 432nd in line to the British Throne. “You have no idea how tough it is growing up surrounded by such opulence, but knowing you will never be in charge.”
To help us grasp the hardscrabble life, the tale begins in the early days of Barry and his older brother, Walter, called Wally outside of public view. They were raised by Pa and Ma, the Duke and Duchess of Kettle, with only a minimum number of servants to cater to their needs.
In their youth, the brothers were close, bonded by the demands placed on them. Wally, though, was 431st in line, and that higher ranking pressured their relationship. An early altercation set the stage for their split.
“When I was three and Wally was four, we were playing in one of the castles. I hid one of his favorite toys—just as a joke—and he was outraged. He picked up a pillow cushion and swatted me with it so hard it knocked me down and I cried. Can you imagine? Brothers just don’t fight in normal families, right?”
Barry’s dissatisfaction with royal life extends well beyond sibling relationships, though. He still suffers from the memories of life at the elite, private schools he attended. “They actually expected me to attend classes. Not every day, of course, but at least once or twice a week. Always keeping up appearances, of course.”
As Barry entered adulthood, his dating choices drew scrutiny from the family. On his wedding day, they all pretended to be happy, but underneath, they seethed.
“They thought my decision to marry Mabel was an insult to the family. First, of course, she was from the states. An American! How dare I?”
But it wasn’t just that she grew up in a former colony. “She was a hairdresser. Wally was sure I did that on purpose. Look, it’s not my fault I still have my hair, and he doesn’t.”
The question for Barry, of course, is why reveal all these family secrets? Why write such a book? His answer in the riveting TikTok shorts, Barry and Mabel, deflects the question. “I didn’t actually write it, of course. That would be beneath someone of my stature. They hired a ghostwriter, but I had to sit and tell him stories. Utterly exhausting work.”
When pressed, though, he finally shares the ultimate reason. “For my privacy, of course. When you’re a Royal, there is no way to avoid the spotlight. I’m so tired of everyone knowing every little detail about my life. All I want is for the attention, the cameras, the press, and everyone else to just leave us alone. What better way to accomplish that than to produce a book and do a series of interviews?”
Which leaves just one last question for us to ponder. Fortunately, Barry tackles that head on when asked if the title of the memoir is a searing indictment of life as a modern-day Royal. “Have you tried living on a few million a year? It’s excruciating, so I needed a little extra money. The title says it all.”
Spare Change, the newest release by Randy Pigeon Publishing, is on sale everywhere.
On The Website This Week
Ever wonder what the reproductive process of worms has in common with complex political alliances, like, for example, a royal family? Fissiparous is the answer.
As an avid early riser, I’m always curious who works early and who prefers late, so I asked my readers whether they were morning people or night owls. The results are in.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I surveyed my readers to ask what the perfect gift is. Please take a moment and record your own answer in this month’s survey.
Gratuitous Dog Photo: Dancing With Delight
The problem capturing photos of Roscoe P. is the second he sees his human, he bounds over for his hugs. This photo was taken quickly before 55 pounds of wriggling happiness landed.
Until Next Monday
May you never suffer the hardship of having to live in an uber-wealthy family.
See you next Monday.
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That book about the royals sounds interesting!
I love the way Roscoe P is just running with joy to see(and pounce)on his human!! To be loved by a dog-nothing better.
That book bears no resemblance to any actual book, of course!
What a happy boy! I love the flip at the end of his tail.
Enthralling book! Currently reading it myself.
Can’timagone growing up in such an emotionless, no contact to show any affection type of environment. It’s very sad. But a good glimpse into what those on the outside never see or could ever know happens.
LOL Love it! Such a hard life, poor boy.
Haha! Enjoyed this!
Great photo. Thanks for the morning smile.
Wondering if a royal Queen Mum would roll in her grave, probably not – not done, or haunt the beleaguered unhappy, entitled, spoiled brat, gently admonishing him….Might make a good short story, ha ha!
A pretty good summing up. Amusing too but without malice. I do appreciate that in your writings.
I agree with Jean, nothing better than to be loved by a dog! Beautiful picture of Roscoe; he looks so happy
Haha – I needed an amusing story today! That was great! It must be awfully difficult to be 432 in line to wherever you want to be;)
Thanks for the fun spin!
This was perfect!